The Not Celebrity Not Fit Club!
Surely you've heard of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. I've never watched the show, but here's a blurb from the show's web site:
Simply by signing up to VH1's Celebrity Fit Club, our participants are making a statement to the world that they have a problem and they need help to overcome it. They'll be aiming to shed pounds, but they'll also have to shed their inhibitions.
Well, between you and me (and when I say "you," I mean anybody who happens to read this web site, which I have published on the Internet for the world to see), screw that crap. We aren't celebrities. I mean, I kind of am, if you define "celebrity" as some guy that strangers send pictures of their rear end to. But, if you're reading this, I'm willing to take the odds that you're like me--we could benefit from "making a statement to the world that [we] have a problem" and should aim at that weight loss thing.
There's two reasons I'm willing to take those odds. First, the CDC has announced that the obesity rate has levelled off—at 34%. Second, if you've got the time to sit around reading my blog, that indicates that you're a flipping genius but are at increased risk for obesity. Why is that? It turns out that if you spend a lot of time sitting around, the enzymes that burn fat quit working.
Read Mike's retirement letter.
Then read the entire blog!
The Not Celebrity Not Fit Club general tips for success:
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Get off your butt.
I don't know how much this needs to be said, since it seems abundantly obvious, but you don't burn a lot of calories chafing your hind parts. Besides that, there's that horrible enzyme thing.
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Do some push ups or something.
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Try my Hot New Ab Workout.
Be sure to read the Warning before beginning this workout.
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Click here for Mike's Tips for Healthy Living!
The Not Celebrity Not Fit Club tips for success for manly men
(the only kind of men allowed to join):
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Lose the belly.
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Lift some weights.
Those two go together. It turns out big biceps and a trim waistline together are strong indicators of a longer life for men. Let's all live forever, shall we?
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Do your push ups like a manly man.
The Not Celebrity Not Fit Club tips for success for women:
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I'll give you a workout.
You come over here, baby. I'll have you sweating away those calories in no time. I'm willing to do the work if you are. ;)
Can't Get Enough? Click here to read the entire blog!
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